Couples: The Communication

Its almost a given in my couples work that the
"most important thing" couples say they receive
regarding communication is the capacity to hear
and be heard and to understand and be understood.
That's the core issue in their communication.

It sounds so simple. So how do we go about not
accomplishing this very or most important thing?
Well, that takes assuming you know what your partner
means or what the meaning of something is for them.
Sometimes you only know what the meaning is for you
and you attribute it to them. You end up relating
to your own thought or emotion rather than to the
person you are with.

So, ask your partner what they mean or what something
means to them. Make very few assumptions and really
listen to what they say. Tell them what you think you've heard
and get their confirmation. Now you are actually relating to
them, not the idea you have been carrying around in your
head.